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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23632147">The Heart Wants What It Can't Have</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creepy_Crawl3r/pseuds/Creepy_Crawl3r'>Creepy_Crawl3r</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Arrow (TV 2012)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Oliver has trouble with emotions, Overprotective Oliver Queen, Roy loves Oliver but Oliver won't say it back, Roy still has the mirakuru inside of him, unestablished Roy Harper/Oliver Queen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:53:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23632147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Creepy_Crawl3r/pseuds/Creepy_Crawl3r</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows Oliver loves Roy, even him, but it takes brute force to make him face his emotions. Typical, right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Roy Harper/Oliver Queen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Heart Wants What It Can't Have</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The club was crowded with sweaty bodies, the air polluted with perfume and the music echoed throughout the building. Oliver navigated his way through the throng of people, making his way to the bar where Thea Queen, his sister, stood serving patrons. She wore a tube top that hugged her thin frame and enhanced her small chest. A tiny skirt that rode way above mid thigh and showed off her thin, sinewy legs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes and put her hand to her head in the shape of a gun, gesturing the act of shooting herself. She bounced on the balls of her feet in his direction and bent over the counter in order to hear him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The five years he was gone had done well for his sister, blossomed her from the small child he remembered to a young woman. He knew it was his little Thea but she was a total stranger to his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ollie, I know you’re the owner but you need to do something besides being tall and broody.” Her singsong voice impressively carried over the loud music. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ollie took her hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have complete faith in your capabilities.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He flashed his trademark smile and left her exasperated and overwhelmed with customers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver felt slightly obligated to stay and help but other pressing issues gnawed at his concentration. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The mirakuru was wrecking more havoc on Roy's mind. The kid wanted to go on canvases with him but Oliver couldn't trust him to not lose it. Without the serum in him he was an angry person, justifiably so, but with it he was so much worse. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver made his way to the keypad locked door that led down to the basement where his </span>
  <em>
    <span>arrow cave</span>
  </em>
  <span> was. Felicity would never let that coined phrase go and Roy and Diggle now called it that as well. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The moment the door locked behind him a pair of feet raced up the stairs and arms wrapped around his waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver enveloped the smaller hands in his and raised them up for a kiss before he turned around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What took you so long!" It was a rapid escalation of rage. Roy had no control of himself and Oliver was terrified to let him loose. He was unsure he could stop him without lethal force and he would not be the cause of Roy's death. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver had been on a patrol for Sara, he knew she probably wouldn't show back up, but he could hope. He could always hope that she would return to her family and try to be the woman she was meant to be. Oliver understood the hypocrisy of that hope but he still wanted it for her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Roy, let's go down the stairs and we can talk, okay?" Oliver held Roy's face and kissed him on the forehead. The younger man let out a shaky breath and nodded his head a little too quickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I can't stop it, Ollie, I can't stop it." Roy never said his nickname. He never called him anything but Oliver and the panic dripped from that small word like poison.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roy shoved beakers, arrows, and testing equipment off of one of the tables in one falling sweep. He stumbled back on the heels of his feet, regaining composure and he brought shaking hands up to his face before he balled them into fists. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver waited for the tidal wave of emotion to flood through Roy before he approached him and tried to speak reason. The younger man turned around and sat on the table, feet slightly dangled right above the ground. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you okay?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roy rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Does it seem like I am? That was me in control!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver stepped in front of him and held his face again, searched the panic stricken eyes that darted back and forth. Roy wanted to say something, it was the blatantly obvious unspoken words but Oliver didn't want to hear them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver wasn't allowed to be Oliver Queen, he wasn't allowed to want, to love and he certainly wasn't going to allow Roy to utter it like a goodbye. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dipped slowly and breathed in Roy's pain and fear with a kiss that melted the younger man. Oliver knocked his legs apart and eased himself between them, lining their bodies up perfectly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oliver I…" Oliver swallowed Roy's words with a more fervent kiss. He needed Roy to feel his love, he needed to know he would never give up and abandon him but he would never say those words back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please, Ollie.." </span>
  <span>He stopped and rested his forehead against Roy's. Let out a soft breath before he said anything that would irrevocably hurt both of them. Oliver had a habit of hurting those he cared about the most. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The locked door clicked open and Oliver jumped back from Roy. The dejected look chipped away at his resolve but he didn't faulter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"They still don't know?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felicity rounded the corner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't know what?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Diggle followed close behind, his all perceiving eyes no doubt noticed Roy's flushed face and Oliver's unease. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That Roy's losing his grip on self-control." Oliver spit it out like venom and Roy bared his teeth in a snarl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, all I want is you to-" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver threw up a hand but it wasn't an arrow, a bullet or a fist being thrown in his direction. It was something so much worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Stop! You have no idea what you are asking of me! I can't just stop </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> and live some happily ever after!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Diggle stepped between them when Roy lurched at Oliver and instead got himself hurt when the kid threw him back. Oliver swept Roy's feet from underneath him and he grabbed Oliver's ankle, pulling him down once he hit the ground. </span>
  <span>Roy raised himself over Oliver on his hands and knees and grabbed the collar of his shirt. His green eyes were dilated and the white of corneas swallowed most of the color.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Felicity yelled and got behind Diggle, torn between helping him and protecting herself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't want a happily ever after! I just want to hear you say it!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oliver glanced over at Diggle, whose face was loaded with an 'I told you so' expression and Felicity was petrified but knew what was going on. Both her and Diggle had known for awhile but everyone and anyone who knows Oliver, knew he wouldn't admit it without being forced. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Say what, Roy? What more can I do to prove it? I saved you, I took you in, I taught you. You are still here because of it!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Roy leaned into Oliver and in a shaky voice whispered. "Say it…" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you." </span>
</p>
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